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Creating a Positive Attitude for a Smoother Menopause

Joanne Fazel • Mar 14, 2022

Creating a Positive Attitude for a Smoother Menopause

Many women experience a loss of confidence during their menopause transition and the mood swings, lack of motivation, weight gain and feelings of exhaustion, anxiety and overwhelm are just some of the symptoms which can lead women to having a very negative outlook on their life and feeling isolated and joyless.

It doesn’t help when there is still somewhat of a social stigma around menopause. ‘Banter’ at work, for example someone asking ‘you menopausal or something?’ if you forget something or make a mistake, leaving you feeling like you can’t do your job properly. Men who complain that women should stop moaning when they experience symptoms. Other women who loudly state that their mother’s generation just had to get on with it and we shouldn’t make a fuss. GP’s making us beg for hormone replacement therapy or who make us feel like we are wrong for asking.

These issues combine to make us feel like menopause shouldn’t be discussed and that it’s somehow our fault if we are experiencing symptoms that we can’t cope with. They can make us feel like we are alone, like we are somehow ‘doing’ menopause ‘wrong’, causing us to doubt ourselves and wondering whether this is how our life will look from now on. Destroying our self-confidence and wondering whether we imagined the person we were before.

Our inner mean voice kicks in constantly: 

• ‘You look fat in that outfit’
• ‘Why are you bothering, you’ll only mess it up’
• ‘who’s going to give you a promotion when you’re always tired?’
• ‘Why would your friends even want to meet up when you moan so much?’
• ‘don’t bother trying that workout, you are so unfit’
• ‘Why would your partner want to see you naked?’


The list goes on and on. Playing that negative record on a loop until we believe it all to be true. Creating a habit of talking to ourselves badly and beating ourselves up mentally.

And this leads to us feeling out of control of our body and thoughts, destroying our self-confidence and leaving us feeling utterly negative about the whole experience. It increases our stress levels which then plays a huge role in disrupting our hormone balance further, amplifying our symptoms and making us feel worse.  

If left unchecked, this spiral of negative thoughts becomes ingrained, creating a habit that’s hard to break. Sapping our motivation and sucking all the fun out of life and making it almost impossible to see the positives.

But studies have shown that women who had a positive attitude towards menopause and the next chapter in their lives, had a more positive body image and a smoother and more positive experience of menopause than women who had a more negative attitude to menopause, who in general reported more symptoms.

So, how do we increase our positivity and help ourselves to transition through the menopause with more ease and joy? Here’s 3 ways you can try today:

Connection

The first way is to get more connected. Connecting to ourselves and listening to our body so that we truly appreciate what it needs. Learning how to identify the mean voice and see it for what it is – just a part of your brain that’s trying to keep you safe from trying new things or changing the status quo.  

Mindfulness and meditation are just two ways in which we can foster more communication with our true desires. Practising how to listen out for those real thoughts and beliefs that are keeping us stuck and reframing them into more positive ones that will help us move forward.

Try this:

Sit somewhere quiet and comfortable and just starting focusing on taking long, slow, deep breaths – in and out. Don’t worry if your mind wanders and you start thinking about what to cook for dinner or whether you took the washing out of the machine – if that happens just acknowledge that your mind wandered off and bring your attention back to the breath. Carry on in this way for 5 minutes (longer if you can). 
 
When we sit in stillness, allowing our mind to wander and bringing it back to specifically focus on our breath over and over again, eventually it teaches our mind how to do that more easily and more often during the course of your day. It allows you to notice things about how and why you make choices that you may have otherwise been unaware of. If you are unaware, you cannot change it.

It also helps you start to observe your thoughts. This allows you to start to understand that you are not your thoughts – you are the CREATOR of your thoughts. Which means you can CHOOSE your thoughts.

We also need to get more connected to the bigger picture. To see how valuable we are to the people around us. Getting out of our own heads and appreciating the world around us. Try spending more time out in nature, appreciating the miracle of life, volunteering to help others or just making time to see friends and family and enjoy being in their company. 

Talk about your experience with menopause. If you don’t feel like you can discuss it with friends or family there are lots of support groups and forums out there where you can connect with others going through similar experiences to you. You do not need to feel alone in your situation.

Gratitude

We can start to practice gratitude. Everyone can find something to be grateful for no matter how negative they are feeling. It could be something as simple as a stranger smiling at you in the street, feeling the sun on your face or hearing a beautiful birdsong.

The more we practice being grateful and taking the time to acknowledge the good things, the more we start to notice them. Try starting a journaling practice every day to keep track of all the positive moments and experiences you actually have.   

It doesn’t have to take long – just 2 mins when you wake up or before you go to bed. You might choose to simply list as many things as you can that you’re grateful for or pick just one thing and explore all the different things you appreciate about it.  Maybe you choose to list all the things about menopause in particular you are grateful for or the positives that it will bring for the next chapter in your life.

Reading back on our journal entries can be a powerful way to show our brain evidence for the positive things in life.

Movement

Getting yourself moving every day. It doesn’t have to be a tough session in the gym (although that might also feel good to you) but any kind of activity that releases serotonin – the feel-good hormone. For you it could be running, dancing, gardening, walking, swimming, boxing, team-sports, playing with the kids or the dog etc.  

Even if you’ve been feeling exhausted, you’ll certainly feel more uplifted and energized after even moderate activity than you would flopping on the sofa and regular movement will also have a beneficial effect on your other menopause symptoms too, helping you to see positive changes both in your body and mind.

Has the menopause transition left you feeling like you no longer recognise yourself? Are you are struggling to cope with your symptoms and need a supportive and non-judgemental ally to guide you to make changes that will help you to get back in control and find the joy in life again? If so, we need to talk!

My 12-week personalised 1:1 coaching program focuses on the nutrition, movement, sleep and relaxation habits that will ease your symptoms, mindset work to help you identify and re-frame the beliefs and thoughts that are keeping you stuck and techniques you can use to stay consistent and not rely on willpower.

If you’d like to know more, please book a free breakthrough session with me at https://calendly.com/feelgoodforlife to find out if my program is a good fit for you.

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